American Idol Season 7

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Just kidding.

Syesha went home.  That’s today “big” news that really isn’t all that big.  As a matter of fact, we could have predicted this weeks ago.  Last night’s show was even more draggy than the night before.  If you were wondering whether it really takes a full HOUR to eliminate one of three contestants, you got your answer last night.  And that would be that yes, yes it does.

We got to sit through all three contestant’s journey’s back home and oh, what a blast that was.  We got to see Archie cry, say “gosh” 50 million times in all his awkward glory and soak up all the cheers from his adoring teenybopper fans.

Syesha’s visit back home in Florida allowed us to see her high school where she gave all the kids some words of wisdom about how it’s always possible to fulfill your dreams.  Call me a cynic but I think it’s easy to fulfill your dreams when you’re:

1.  Incredibly attractive

2.  Born with talent to sing well

3.  On the most popular tv show in history

This isn’t to say that people can’t live their dreams but let’s get real here, Syesha!  Not everybody is born a star.  The rest of Syesha’s visit home consisted of crazy ladies shoving their babies in her arms and demanding autographs and an emotional limo ride.

David Cook’s brother got called on stage to help give us all the ‘real story’ behind David’s American Idol audition.  Apparently David just went to give his brother moral support and wound up being asked to audition by some big shot producer.  I guess we’ll all just have to buy that story, won’t we?  Either way, David made it and his brother Andrew must be waking up to the sweet smell of failure every morning.  Ouch.

After all the filler, Ryan Seacrest finally got down to business and booted Syesha off the show.  He acted as if it was some big surprise but even Syesha herself knew that her time on Idol was over.

Next week is the FINALE!  The David’s will duke it out.  Who is going to win?  Originally I felt like David Archuleta had this thing in the bag but here lately I’m actually starting to think that David Cook is going straight to the top.  It’s definitely going to be a show worth watching.

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This week’s Idol was a bit of a drag overall, but I guess that’s what this show is all about.  Here’s the thing - we all know that Syesha has no chance whatsoever so I can’t be the only one who felt guilty watching her pour all her energy into 3 performances which still weren’t going to edge her into the finale.  It’s unfortunate that she has to be the third wheel in all this David man-love.

I’m not going to rehash every detail in this post.  Instead, let’s just get to the point.  I’m growing a bit impatient with Idol (as I usually do by the end of the season).  By this point everybody’s got their favorites, they’re all going to get signed and it’s basically just a popularity contest rather than a show about talent.  Like, vote for who you think ought to be this year’s prom King.  Lame.  Anyway.

David Archuleta aka “Archie” had a whole lot of drama this week in the news when his annoying dad got banned from being backstage.  Apparently the guy is an a-hole.  All this buzz about Archie pretty much sealed the deal for him in the finale though.  It didn’t matter if he got up and burped the alphabet, his fans have done enough work to get him through to the end.  The kid wasn’t even good this week.  Paula picked a crappy song with no melody, Archie himself picked Chris Brown’s “With You” which got totally butchered.  As Randy put it, he really looks weird singing about his “boo”.  And the producers picked some other ballad that was slow as molasses and more boring than watching paint dry.

Syesha had to sing an Alecia Keys song given to her by Randy.  She really didn’t do too much to change it up.  A few changes in notes here and there but ultimately, Alicia sings that song so much better.  Then she picked “Fever” which has already been done a million different times by a million other artists.  She looked sexy dancing with a chair, but eh, even sex appeal couldn’t get her in the top 2.  Her last song was picked by the producers… can’t remember the name of it but it was really upbeat and didn’t feel at all like something Syesha could pull off.  She tried.  She really tried.

Finally, David Cook’s performances consisted of a freakin’ Roberta Flack song (picked by Simon - what was he thinking??) that didn’t turn out very well.  David’s own songchoice, Switchfoot’s “Dare You To Move” which could have been good if it weren’t drastically cut down to fit a ridiculously small time slot.  And then Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” which had an interesting arrangement but seriously?  It wasn’t earth-shattering.

The judges weigh in and let Syesha know that she needs to pack her bags up because all her efforts were in vain.  Nice, huh?  That’s showbusiness for ya!

As for last night’s results?  Join me in the next post to find out all the surprises.  Hint - there are no surprises

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Well the time finally came on Wednesday night when Jason Castro got the boot at last.  It’s not like he was terrible all along but let’s be honest here folks, he really seemed to stop caring in the past couple of weeks.  Either the kid was so stoned he just didn’t know he was performing in front of all of America OR he realized he had absolutely no chance at winning with the David’s being the clear favorites to win.

I think all of  America breathed a big sigh of relief when Ryan Seacrest announced the news.  Now it’s time for the competition to get really serious.  All the “iffy” performers have gone and if my predictions are right then it’s definitely going to boil down to a battle between the two David’s.

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The second half of Idol’s show this week started with David Cook singing The Who’s “Baba O’Reily”.  He did a really nice job of it.  Randy told David to shake whatever off and just be himself.  Paula told him, “I’m really humbled to sit here and watch your soul.  Thanks for sharing it with everyone.”  And Simon said, “Welcome back David Cook.”

Syesha Mercado came out in yet another stunning dress and sang, “A Change is Gonna Come.”  Randy said it felt a little disconnected.  He felt that she was pushing for things that she couldn’t quite pull off.  Paula gave Syesha a standing ovation and so much praise that it brought Syesha to tears.  And Simon?  He said “I have to be fair and I have to agree with… Paula.  I thought you sang that really, really well.”

Jason Castro went with Bob Dylan’s “Mr. Tamborine Man” and forgot some lyrics in the beginning.  He looked like he was having fun but eh… Randy asks him, “how do you think that was?” then laughs and says that Jason’s just not in the zone.  Simon uttered, “Jason… I’d pack your suitcase.”

David Archuleta sang Elvis’ “Love Me Tender” and it was absolutely beautiful.  Randy called it “another great performance.”  Paula said, “that was one of my favorite performances from you” and Simon said, “you didn’t beat the competition tonight, you crushed the competition.”

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This week’s Idol performances were both really good and really bad.

Of all the songs available, David Cook went with Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf” - interesting choice of song.  Despite the weirdness, he was definitely in his element on this one.  It seems like the producers are pushing to get David into the finale now with this week’s rocker-oriented show.  Randy said it was an okay choice and an okay job. Paula hit on David yet again and Simon called it a bit “copycat”.

Next up - Syesha Mercado singing Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary”.  Immediately I cringed and thought the judges would just compare her to the legendary Miss Turner, but to my surprise they didn’t.  The beginning is real thrown back and then it picks up.  But while she does a good job performing, her vocals just aren’t quite big enough to cut it.  Randy said it was the 3rd week in a row that she has done amazing.  Paula actually critiqued the song instead of sounding like she’s on drugs.  And Simon called it a “bad shrieky version”.  It appeared as though Simon was purposely trying to bump up her votes.  Clever.

And then there was Jason Castro… that’s right folks, he’s singing Bob Marley’s “I Shot The Sheriff”.  He basically admitted on national tv that he’s a giant pothead but that’s beside the point.  He let his hair down and tried to get into it but god, it was a train wreck.  Randy called it super karaoke.  Paula said she didn’t like it but he played to the audience so that was nice.  And Simon said, and I quote, it was “utterly atrocious”.

David Archuleta closed out the first round with “Stand By Me”.  The “feel good” songs are a bit annoying after a while but wow was he amazing!  Randy said he brings the hot vocals every time.  Paula said she loves that he has taken everybody’s advice.  Simon said, “the truth is you could have whistled the song and it would’ve been better than the last performance.”  Then he called it the “best performance of the night”.

On to Round 2…

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Wednesday night’s idol started off on an awkward foot when Ryan Seacrest pointed the finger at America and condemned us all for believing the rumors that have been flying around about Paula Abdul.  The Neil Diamond night fiasco (as I like to call it) had a lot of people wondering just what kind of drugs Paula must’ve been on.  Ryan was quick to tell us that none of these rumors are true, that American Idol loves Paula because she is a member of their family.  So shove it, America!

This week’s bottom two?  Syesha Mercado and Brooke White.  Did Syesha deserve to be there?  Nope.  Jason Castro managed to slither out of the bottom two in a magical stroke of luck.

Brooke got the boot and while I’m a bit sad to see her go, it was definitely her time.  She had a good run.  Maybe she’ll remember to never perform “I’m a Believer” in shiny silver pants again.  Stick to your piano, Brooke.

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And now on to the other 3 contestants….

David Cook, despite how much I don’t like him, did a very nice job of both songs last night.  Seems he’s getting a little less cocky and a little more serious about the competition now.   Either that or well, the judges and audiences alike are totally cheering him on.  He’s had one too many “you could win this” pats on the back and so I guess it’s gone to his head but he’s trying to suppress it now.  But hey, he can sing.  So I’ll give the guy credit for that.

David Archuleta picked some horrible songs last night.  “Coming To America”?  REALLY?  Could it GET any more annoying than that?  The judges seemed to think it was a wise choice but honestly, let’s can all these patriotic songs, okay?  Unlike Kristy Lee Cook however, David’s song choice didn’t seem to be a cheap ploy to get votes.  It was just nauseating.  But I’m still a loyal fan.  He just knows how to choose some cheesy tunes.

And finally, Syesha Mercado in a pretty purple dress, barefoot and singing her guts out.  Good for her!  She may not be the BEST singer Idol’s ever had but the girl has been putting it out there week after week and she deserves to be in the top 3.  Her first song was very classy and her second reminded me of something Beyonce would do or something straight out of the movie Dreamgirls.  She’s good though.  Really good.

Simon’s last words were that he thinks Syesha is going to be in trouble this week just because things are narrowing down so much.  Honestly, I think he just said it to keep her in there.  He needed to give America a reason to push to vote her to the top.  We’ll see if it worked tonight.

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So the top five Idol contestants have been whittled down to David Archuleta, Jason Castro, David Cook, Syesha Mercado and Brooke White.  Last night, these kids got to sing not one - but TWO Neil Diamond songs.

In my opinion, the show was a train wreck this week and I think that’s really saying something about the producers.  I guess they figure they’ve got a number one show and they can afford to do whatever they want to do.  And it’s not like these contestants are terrible singers but come on now - these are the TOP 5 singers in America???

Where have all the Melinda DooLittle’s gone?

Okay, so Ryan Seacrest tells us that they’re going to sing and be judged after their second performance.  Different, but alright.  And then they each perform and the judges give their opinions anyway.  It seemed like there was some kind of mix up from the get-go.

Anyhow… the competition is quickly coming to a close and since that’s the case, let’s just get real about this.  Jason Castro needs to go.  End of story.  I like him but he doesn’t even seem to care that he’s on the show.  It almost seems like he’s purposely trying to get himself kicked off.  His facial expressions are ones of “yeeeeah, I know I sucked.  Oh well.”

Brooke White’s “I’m a Believer” last night was as Simon put it, “a nightmare”.  You know I’m a fan but seriously, Brooke??  Why would you do this to us?  That performance was horrible.  Her second song was much better as she seems to shine behind the piano.  But… as much as I’m a fan, the girl has got to go.

I’ll get to the next three contestants in the next post, but first… let’s go back to the judges for a moment.  After all 5 performers sang their first song, Ryan Seacrest asked the judges to comment on everybody.  Randy quickly ran through his thoughts and then on to Paula Abdul.

Here’s where the show went WAY down hill.

Paula tells Jason Castro what she thinks about his first song and then starts going into how he did on his second song.  HUH?  Ryan is panicking, the contestants are all completely speechless and wide-eyed, trying to remain calm on camera, Simon and Randy are listening to Paula with dread on their faces… finally, Randy speaks up and politely tells Paula that they are only judging on song #1.  And then Paula gets confused and says she thought that Jason had performed two songs.

How embarrassing!  …. So we cut Paula short, head to Simon and speed into a commercial break.  Talk about hilarity.

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And there you have it America.  The first time in ages that Carly Smithson sings and does just amazingly (yes, I made that word up), America goes and gets her booted from the competition.  Let’s see how the show went down tonight.

First, this week’s Ford commercial featuring the song “Tainted Love”.  This one was actually scary to me since the contestants were dressed up in 80s goth rock wear.  The video was a flashback to Aha’s “Take On Me” with the black and white cartoon imagery.  Interesting.

And then President Bush and his wife, Laura came on via satellite with a message to all the viewers for helping with Idol Gives Back.  I guess American Idol is the only place the President can speak without sounding like a total idiot.

Moving along!  The show got down to the bottom two which consisted of Carly Smithson and Syesha Mercado.  At that point it was pretty much a given that Syesha was at the end of her rope… and then in a surprising turn of events, Ryan Seacrest announced that Carly had the least amount of votes.  Quite the shocking news seeing as how she did so well the night before.  Before she left, Simon let her know that she could leave with her head held high.  See, sometimes he’s a nice guy after all

Next week?  The music of Neil Diamond.  Oh, this is going to be good!

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It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that David Archuleta can sing some show tunes.  He decided to go with “Think of Me Fondly” and it was fantastic.  Just spot on perfect.  Randy told David, “you can sing.  You can sing anything.  Dude, it was the bomb.”  Paula said it was “absolutely perfect” and Simon called it pleasant and yet “one of your weakest performances. All a bit forgettable.”

Carly Smithson  sang “Superstar” from Jesus Christ Superstar.  This was the best she’s done in a long time - if ever.  She had a ton of fun.  Randy said “I don’t know if this was your best performance but it was really good”.  Paula thought it might be too high for her range but she did a great job.  And Simon thought”it was actually one of my favorite performances of the night.”

David Cook went with “Music of the Night”.  It was overly Broadway and I was waiting for Simon to tell him that his performance was everything but contemporary but not the case.  Randy said “dude, that was an amazing vocal performance.”  Paula said “this song proved more and more… that you have a beautiful instrument” (yet another sexual innuendo?).  Simon called it “too rounded off, but you made the most of the song you were given.”  I thought the contestants picked their own songs? Hmm.

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